Singapore Sling

9 October 2009

Final stop on the Eurasian express, we're in the just-a-teensy-bit authoritarian city-state of Singapore. Having heard loads of rumors about the nutso immigration and customs rules, we actually had an easy enough trip in. Chewing gum seized, yes, because god knows what a bunch of middle class hippies might accomplish with chewing gum. Everything the Japanese couldn't during the war, probably. Chaos, bubbles, destruction.

Screwed around on the bus with the camera (and the seat covers, see above), killing the 6 hours it took to get from Melaka and through the border.

We shared out the fags (cigarettes! be nice!) because smokers can only bring in one single opened pack each. It was all very orderly, as is all of Singapore. Extremely orderly. Terribly orderly. The streets are pristine, wide, straight and lined with buildings either brand new or tastefully restored. Generic but lovely monuments to tolerance and unity and civil service abound. It's all a bit Aldous Huxley. Or Salt Lake City.

Stayed at the decent South East Asia hotel, one of the few budget places with en suites. Chinese breakfast included fried radish pastry things. Where Singapore comes into it's own is in the food—it really is a mecca of epicurean harmony: sari-draped Indian ladies eating Malaysian mee goreng; Malaysian taxi drivers downing sweet and sour noodles; immaculate Chinese business men noshing on South-Indian style biryani and mutton. All of it gorgeous and cheap-ish, if you stick to the plentiful hawker centres—massive food courts in every shopping centre. These are everywhere, as the national pastimes of Singaporeans appear to be shopping, eating, and talking about shopping or eating while either eating or shopping. In addition, there are loads of western-style restaurants aimed at the wealthier denizens of the skyscrapers and the loads of expats.

We had Aussie steak with Rich, Denis and Louise on the Wednesday, as it was Rich's last full night with us. Then off to drink stupidly expensive beer at a really very decent microbrewery on Clark Quay. I was forced, for Rich's sake, to put aside my personal rule about not patronizing places that spell their own name incorrectly (or who stick a random 'z' into it somewhere) in a sorry, sorry attempt to be sassy.

Brewerkz hit some high notes for appalling English, but also for the very nice cherry ale. In a move I've not seen elsewhere, beer is priced by the time of day on all menus: at noon, a pint will set you back S$3.99; by 9pm, this is S$14.99. Clever, and evil. Fascists.

On a side note, there is a slightly surreal Hooters in Singapore. Staffed entirely by flat chested Chinese girls.

Thursday we did a bit of a city tour, including the durian-fruit shaped symphony hall; the mer-lion statue on the harbour (uh-huh); Little India and Chinatown; the posh-arse shopping malls of Orchard Street (one mall with Prada, D&G, Dior, Gucci and Hermes side by side); and the astounding greenery that graces the city. Popped off to Raffles Hotel, very British and colonial, as this was the last night of the trip and everyone had the ubiquitous Singapore Sling. At S$23 each, they had best be made of virgin's blood or gold or something worthwhile. We actually left the shindig to meet up with our mate Dasnny, who's just moved from London to Singapore. Chili crab on Clarke Quay, and brilliantly good to see someone from real life.

Yesterday we met up with Dan and Heather and the boys in East Coast Park for a pink bike ride (for Jayden) and a stroll for the rest of us along the water. The shipping waiting to get into port is incredible—there were literally more ships than we could count, all the way to the horizon. Back to the South East Asia to collect bags and say last goodbyes, then down to Changi Airport for our 22:30 flight to Australia. And here we are.