The Heart of Chuck Norris

12 October 2009

Bit of a clusterf*ck in collecting the campervan. No amount of planning is ever enough...got to the slightly dodgy depot on the outskirts of Darwin at the same time as 6 other people, add in the not-very-bothered staff, and it was an hour and a half before they gave us the contract to sign and swiped our credit card. This card, being American, is incapable of comprehending foreign travel. Every time we try to use it out of the Lower 48, the bank assumes that no right-minded patriot would willingly be spending cash in a place that's not, you know, America, and shuts it off. Three phone calls to them (on an Australian mobile we're paying for) later, and they finally let the charge go through.

Our little campervan is from Wicked Campers, the cheapest outfit by far. There is a reason. It's sturdy and functional and all, but the company appears to be run by people who pride themselves on being anti-establishment and put quite some effort into making that painfully obvious. All the Mitsubishi vans are spray-painted with different designs (which can in theory be customized). We saw one with a pop-art motif of the Beatles; some are funny, if male chauvinism is the level your sense of humour stopped at; the people who got theirs right before us got roses and pistols. Ours could be worse...we've got a blood-thirsty skull four feet high, and the following across the back: “The Heart of Chuck Norris Beats Once a Year.” We've named her Charlotte (you can't call a car Chuck). And that's all I have to say about that.

Inside is storage under a platform for sleeping, and mattresses that make up into a queen bed. The back end is the kitchen, with a sink, propane cooker, cooler box, and storage for the plates and pots and whatnot. Camping chairs, a little folding table, and a comfy pair of driving seats. In KL we'd got an iTrip to play the iPods over the radio. We took ourselves off to Coles (grocery) and Target immediately, and replaced the slightly manky sheets it came with for very bright pink ones and various bits and bobs. Wicked is fairly unorganized; there was a shelf with random stuff others had left behind, and some utensils. I raided what I could, Target provided the rest. Target is not cheap here though—nothing is cheap here, actually, except meat (fillet steaks were $5 for two.) We got a soft cooler and bottle holders with VB beer's logo on them...we are now practically Australian.